Last Friday

The events of last Friday began to unfold as I got on my computer around 10 a.m. to check my email. Like America and most of the world, my heart was broken and I couldn’t believe something like this had happened. I don’t know what to say and I’m not going to continue typing and prove it.

Here are two posts that I appreciated reading:

The Truth about Sandy Hook: Where is God when Bad Things Happen? by Ann Voskamp

A Christmas Prayer by Max Lucado

 

 

Grown-Up Christmas List + Updates

Kids are entertaining. They do and say the funniest things. Because of this, most of my posts have been about daily kid related amusements. I certainly don’t want to overlook the other important projects happening…so here is an update!

Micro-Finance:

This is EXCITING! Peterson Brun, our first entrepreneur to receive a loan through Zafen, has successfully completed his loan repayments. Peterson has a drink stand and received funding for expansion last October. He worked hard and was responsible with his personal finances allowing him to repay his loan in full before the deadline. Anyone can appreciate the discipline and perseverance it takes to pay off a loan. Way to go Peterson! Peterson will also be getting married in December so it’s an exciting time in his life! Please pray that God continues to bless this amazing leader in the community.

 

Our block making business is also charging full steam ahead. Reformation Hope, the non-profit in Georgia that supports Souls Winning Ministries, will be purchasing blocks from the business to begin constructing a medical clinic. We’re excited to get things started and there will be many more updates to follow.

School:

The first 6 weeks I have been observing the dynamics of the school. The model is very different from the United States. For next steps, I will be having a meeting with the staff and teachers at the school. Together we will have a brainstorming session and do a SWOT analysis. The meeting will be a crucial time to put agreed upon expectations in place as well as create a collaborative, supportive environment. In the coming months, I hope to have the teachers share lesson plans, progress reports and best practices.

 

Other stuff:

Growing up, I was a sucker for Amy Grant’s “Grown Up Christmas List” song. I sang it at the top of my lungs in the living room…on repeat (sorry family). Now that I’m a bit older, the song’s lyrics have even more meaning. Here’s a taste;

 “No more lives torn apart, that wars would never start, and time would heal all hearts. Everyone would have a friend, and right would always win and love would never end. This is my grown up Christmas List.”

Maybe it’s a bit sappy and Miss America-esque but it’s true. I think they’re beautiful lyrics. Some of you have asked if I want anything for the children or myself and since you asked…yes J. I have put together a list of “needs and wants.”  I entered the list into a google document so that we don’t receive too much of any single item. I will collect the items when I am in Indiana and Los Angeles before returning to Haiti. I can only have one additional suitcase for donations so please keep this in mind! If you purchase a donation item, please indicate it on the google document. If you require any explanation for an item you see on the list feel free to email me.

Click here for the link to my Grown Up Christmas List! **LINK FIXED SO YOU CAN EDIT**
Email me if you have items to drop off. I will be packing ZIonsville donations on Dec. 28th and L.A. donations on Jan. 6th. 

Thank you again for your giving hearts!
 

'Tis the Season!

I love Christmas.A LOT.

I love snow, givinggifts, hot chocolate, baking, watching Christmas movies, smiling (smiling is myfavorite), decorating and the feeling I still get on Christmas morning. I havebeen trying to keep that Christmas momentum going in 93 degree heat, with noHallmark Christmas channel and no oven to bake cookies. It has beenchallenging.

It started theweek of Thanksgiving. I gathered a few of the kids to make a classic chain linkpaper count down. We quickly learned that glue sticks and construction paperaren’t friends in the humidity. We enforced the chain link with some kind ofwhite tape. It doesn’t look flawless. Martha Stewart would be horrified. But itlooks like it was a labor of love.

Next, Idiscovered a new found passion for making paper snowflakes. I quickly sharedwith the kids the complicated art of paper folding. With a little imaginationand some stellar scissor skills, the kids started mastering this great art(they really are pretty). Without my supervision and during school, theystarted making more of them, out of ANYpaper. Pretty soon I was receiving school assignment snowflakes, bonbon wrappersnowflakes and trash snowflakes. I thanked them genuinely, letting them knowthat future flakes could be kept to decorate their own space. I decided it was time for a new craft. I started“collecting” toilet paper rolls pending a pinterest craft I would undoubtedlyfind. Three toilet paper rolls later and I am still looking.

I diverted myattention to party planning. The children receive a lot. They constantly haveteams coming down that shower them with candy, gifts and games. I decided itwas important to focus on the greatest gift ever given. I wanted to provide the kids with the opportunity to give this season. The idea hasculminated into a “Giving Gala” where each child gets to give a gift to anotherchild. The second party will be a surprise Christmas Celebration for the staff.The kids will be serving the staff for a change in a mock restaurant setting. Eachkid has volunteered for a role at the party. With details swirling in my head Irealized I had to think about my Christmas plans for my visit home too!

I startedmentally scheduling all the extended family and friends I want to see. Ibrainstormed ideas to make sure that Greg, who I will see in for the 1^sttime in 112 days (but who’s counting), has the best time ever in my hometown. I started Christmasshopping via amazon for my family. Not to mention I still had to figure out howto make sure it snows.  With all theseplans pending, I realized I was getting a little stressed.

Oh Irony!

Far away fromBlack Friday, Christmas sales and ELF re-runs, with no Douglas Fir or EvergreenWreath in sight. No Christmas e-vites crowding my inbox. No elf on my shelf. Nocookie exchanges, secret Santa or Ugly Christmas Sweater parties to attend. Iwas still feeling overwhelmed. My Christmas was already becoming too much. Iwasn’t thinking about the “reason for the season,” I was wrapping myself up insome abstract form of people pleasing.

I would love tomaster every Christmas craft, become an expert gift giver and dominate everydelicious Christmas dessert. I think all of these things are great but they canquickly take the focus off of why Christmas is such an incredible holiday.

The First Noelgot off to a spectacularly simple start. Mary, Joseph and a manger that heldthe greatest gift ever given, Jesus. I think it’s important toremember that.

Go Tell it on the Mountains

With Christmas season in full swing, I have been teaching the kids a few classic Christmas songs. I incorporate the lyrics into an English lesson, encouraging them to read the words, not just mimic me. Slowly they are recognizing each of the words and the repetition of specific ones. It helps that they love to sing.

With a schedule in place and enforced, the kids go to bed around 9 p.m. This also means they wake up at about 5 a.m. I often hear them first thing in the morning, wearily singing their own songs. But, with a little bread in their stomachs, they come out in full force around 6 a.m. singing loudly. Their little voices, which I find far more endearing in the evening, permeate through my earplugs. One kid sings “Holy, Holy” another “Jingle Bells” and one of the teenage girls, with attitude in tow, belts out “Go Tell it on the Mountain.” I’m annoyed. I want just one more hour of sweet sleep. She seems to raise her voice as she passes my door. “Go tell it on the mountain,” vibrates through the walls. It’s as if she single handedly feels responsible for getting the song, “over the hills and everywhere.” I toss. I turn. I surrender. I’m up. I unzip my net and think, “what have I done to myself?” Next time I sound just give them a drum set and a loud speaker. Again, I’m NOT a morning person.

I slowly make my way to the bathroom. The already bright sun stings my half opened eyes. One of the boys belts out, “Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells,” although his mouth can’t quite form “bells” and it comes out as ball. (We’ll have to work on that)

I make my way back to my room. Oblivious to my stoic stare, the youngest gives me a big hug with a running start. I nearly fall over. She starts singing “Go Tell in on the Mountain.” As I reach my door I hear that most of the girls have settled for the same song. At least now the noise is in unison. I’m surprised they’ve remembered the notes and the words. Their voices are starting to sound a bit sweeter. I peek into their room. Some of them have their eyes shut, some of them are swaying. They aren’t just singing, they’re praising. They are singing from their hearts. I realize that although I taught them the words, I can certainly learn a thing or two from their song.

"Ask and you shall receive"

Recently, I introduced after school activities for the kids.To be honest, this was done in a somewhat selfish manner. I found it verydifficult to get anything done with the kids around. Every day, at 1 p.m. whenschool is out, I would receive dozens of little knocks at my door. They knew Ihad work but just wanted to say hi. Next I tried leaving my door open.This just perpetuated the problem. The children would stand in my door waywatching me. I’d ask them how they were, how school was and let them know I hadmore work to which they’d reply “I know” in Creole.  Trying to exercise was just as bad. I’d tryto jump rope but the kids wanted to jump with me and I ended up accidentallywhipping some of them as I jumped. I realized if you can’t beat them….jointhem! So now, three times a week, I gather any willing participants to fakejump rope with me followed by in a cardio circuit.

Mondayafter “class” FranFran, our on site security, came over in his karate suit. Withpermission, the kids started punching him in the stomach. One of the youngerboys, who is a character in his own right, was eager to get his turn but keptgetting pushed back by the older kids. Being 6 years old and weighing about thesame as my left thigh, I asked him if he wanted to punch me instead. He lookedat me, smiled and said “oui”. His tiny little legs got in the karate stance andhis wiry little arm wound back before looking at me for one more nod ofapproval. I nodded and… BAM! He punched me. HARD. I mean I don’t know if he hada brass knuckle hidden but I was shocked at his strength. He looked atme. I looked at him. He looked at my stomach. I held my stomach. He looked athis hand. I looked at his hand. He shook it out a little, said “mesi” andskipped away. I laughed breathlessly, shocked at how strong the little guy wasand surprised that he didn’t hold back just a little. 

I “ask” and pray for a lot of things. I knowJesus doesn’t want to hold back but sometimes I’m just not quite ready toreceive His “gift” or blessing. I’m glad He knows when I can handle His greatgifts. My time in Haiti is definitely one of them!

Learning

Saying I am lonely at times is an ironic statement because Iam never actually alone. I constantly have 40+ kids in my company. I have madedeepening friendships with the staff on campus (although my Creole still has aways to go).  There are living thingseverywhere. I have found myself negotiating out loud with Haiti’s circle oflife. I kindly ask the spiders to eat the mosquitoes and in exchange I willspare their eight legged lives. I shower daily with a surprisingly cute baby lizardthat lives next to, and sometimes under, my bleach bottle. So, I’m not exactlyalone.

 Nonetheless my weeklyskype sessions with loved ones are times I cherish. About a week ago, I was gettingready for my long distance skype date. I was so excited that I managed to brushmy hair out and splash on some mascara. The kids were in my room watching my preparations.I was actually “early” for my date something he’ll tell you rarely happens inperson. With some time to kill I exited my room for the 10 minute break. After,I headed back to my room and reached for my door knob. LOCKED. The key was inmy room. I was only gone for a few minutes and didn’t lock it. Realizing thatone of the kids was probably helping me out and locked it for me, I decided Iwouldn’t panic just yet. I’ve watched as some of the boys, with their impromptutools, have popped a lock in 30 seconds flat. I called them over and watched asthey took their various “tools” and tried to get my door unlocked to no avail.AWESOME.

Slowly the inevitable happened. I realized I was hot,frustrated and disappointed. I watched the sun creep behind the mountainscalculating the 5 hour time difference in my head. It would be past hisbedtime. I went to get some air in the darkness outside. Enjoying the emotionalrelease of my own little pity party, one of the youngest girls came and satnext to me. We had a short exchange in Creole after which she commanded I closemy eyes. What happened next was one of the sweetest things I’ve witnessed. Outof her 6 year old mouth came one of the most sympathetic prayers I’ve heard ina while. “Jezi, Jezi, souple Jezi, Jaclynn bezwen l’ kle.” I squinted my eyesopen to see her head waving back and forth, hands gripped tightly, eyessqueezed shut. She was praying for me. In my frustration I forgot that I couldpray. As a young child, I often thought that I could only pray about the bigstuff. I figured there was some type of prayer quota I was allotted at birth. Icouldn’t waste prayers on little things. After all, God has bigger fish to fry namelyworld peace, poverty and hunger. My little mind couldn’t wrap itself around theidea that I could bring anything and everything to Him. Often, it still can’t.  I’m learning that it’s about being in constantcommunication with Him. The good, bad, and ugly. Sometimes it takes a 6 sixyear with her “little” mind and BIG heart to remind me of that.

Patience is a Virtue

In most aspects of my life, I would not consider myself to be a patient person but life here demands it. In preparing for this trip, my loved one told me to be patient with Haiti, its people and myself. I found the first week to be full of indicators of my impatience causing melodramatic ups and downs.

 

A day in the life of my first week looks a little something like this…

 
I wake up at 7:30 a.m. unless of course my ear plugs have fallen out, then I wake up at 6ish depending on the neighborhood roosters whose wake up calls I constantly underestimate. I’m excited to start a new day.  I settle myself, make a trip to the bathroom, call out my round of “Bonjours” and then return. I hear Luna ring the school bell at 8 a.m. and know that soon Michele will arrive with my breakfast; a banana, bread and coffee. I eat then head to the shower. I grab my trusty blue bucket and head to the faucet outside to fill it. The clear cold water fills to the brim and I make my way back.  I have a whole ingenious process for getting myself ready for the cold water. I’ll spare you the details but jumping jacks are involved. I shower. I feel great.  Clean and awake, I return to my room. My mom gave me a 5x magnification mirror and I take a quick glance. Yikes, definitely not a necessity on your packing list. I obediently put broad spectrum sunscreen on my face even though I’m already sweating.  I’m ready for work and hop online.  In my race against my natcom credit (my Internet system) I hurriedly copy /paste all the emails I’ve received into a word document without reading them. I don’t like feeling rushed. I’m annoyed. I Disconnect.  Click “safetly remove hardware”. Unplug. Yes! Take that natcom credit.
 
 At about 1 p.m., when I know school is about to finish, I step outside to flip the sign I made in Haitian Creole to, “Silans Souple” (Silence Please) from, “Pran ak de bra” (Welcome with open arms). My eyes try to readjust. My room is dark. Electricity here is off and on…literally. I wanted to read but will need to wait until I have more light. Instead, I write my email responses in word. My computer battery is almost out and I can’t recharge it. I change tasks again. I practice self-assigned words of the week in Creole. I’m frustrated. Why am I not absorbing the language faster? I can’t remember certain words. The electricity comes on. I read some of the citizen sector literature I brought. I write down daily notes and ideas.  I’m happy. I have some ideas that could work and am excited about the possibilities.  I notice it’s already 5 p.m. so I emerge to see the gang. 
 
I’m smiling. Each kid has such a unique personality. They are all such characters. I’m laughing with the kids as we play impromptu games. I feel so blessed.  But then night falls, I return to my room to find that ants have infiltrated my heavy duty Ziploc bag, they’ve outsmarted me again and I get frustrated.  In that moment I notice it’s hot and I’m sweating… still. I feel gross. How is it that ants can undo me? That makes me feel even more discouraged.  I glance at my to-do list. I haven’t changed anything today. In fact I’m just more aware of what I need to change in myself. I miss my family, my boyfriend, my friends. Grrrr. There’s a knock on my door even though my “silans souple” sign is up.  I reluctantly open it to find one of the girl’s with my towel that had been drying in the sun. “Mesi,” I force a smile. She stands there staring at me. This has become commonplace. What does she want!? She sways from side to side with a half smile. “Oui?” I ask. “Mwen renmen ou,” (I love you) she replies. My frustration melts away. I am humbled.

That’s all I need to remind me that on some days I won’t be able to impress anyone with my to-do list check marks or accomplishments. The kids just ask for my love, patience and a lot of play time. For some reason (ok reason being my ego) I struggle at times with how little is required of me on any given day.  The irony is that I find even the little requirements challenging on some days. So, as will probably be the case for life, I continue to learn to practice patience…patiently.